Anonymous asked:

how does an athlete get over the feelings of not being good enough & failing ovr and ovr again bc i honestly dont remember what success feels like & im beginning to wonder if its still worth the heartbreak.i hate to be the one to give up but its been years of emotional pain bc im not good enough.i work my ass of everyday & its constant heartbreak.i've lost all confidence & self esteem in myself in all areas.i just need reason to keep going bc i want it more than anything but always seem to fail.

I’m sorry for just responding to this, sweetheart! I just found it. 

It breaks my hear to read that you don’t feel good enough, and that you have been discouraged by all of the failure. Who are you not good enough for? What’s causing you such heart break? Whatever or whoever it is, it isn’t worth the pain. 

If I can give you any advice, it would be to never give up on doing what you love. Yes, volleyball might be causing you a lot of heartbreak… but you are lucky enough to be able to play. You are skilled enough to be on the court with other people. You have more knowledge about the game than most of the world does. (I mean, really…think about how many people can’t even throw a ball, let alone serve one. Can’t catch ball, let alone pass one!) Even if you aren’t the best, even if you got cut from a team, even if you seem to mess up more than you succeed… Try looking at what you do have, what you can do, and how much better you’ve gotten along the way. 

My volleyball career is over now and there are days I miss it so much. I miss the simple things: having a ball in my hands, going out to play, feeling focused and in the “zone.” I will never again have the opportunity to mess around with my friends at practice, spend my days in the gym, work on my fitness every day, focus incredibly and whole heartedly on one task/goal, and be at the peak of my career. And what I miss more than anything is that I’ll never get to truly compete again. It’s bittersweet, so enjoy it while you can.

Also: If you always compare yourself to other people, you’ll NEVER be enough. You’ll never escape those heartbreaking feelings. If you compare yourself to your own inner standard, you’ll only be “losing” if you aren’t improving and learning. Your former self is the only person you should ever compare yourself to. That’s how you stay motivated. The people who work to better themselves, and not just to outlast others, are the people who win out in the end.